Big Box Baby

First thing this morning when I was getting Beck out of his crib he says to me "I wanna go wal-mart". I thought it was kind of funny because he has been making several comments like these lately. He also has said "I wanna go bye bye Target" and wanna go wal-mart in new car". He can recognize when we are at Wal-mart or Target as soon as he sees the front of the building. I am a little anxious for when the weather improves enough that I don't have to shop at the big box stores just for an excuse to get out of the house and I can take them on walks, go to the park or just let them play in the yard instead. I'll probably be able to stick to our budget better then as well.

We did get our new mini van and I am loving the automatic doors. Beck says "Thank you door" everytime it opens or closes for him. I am glad when the baby comes it will be a little easier to get three kids into safety seats.

Kate turns 4!

4 years ago....

Kate is now 4 years old and now that she is out of the toddler bed and into a twin bed she is feeling like a very big girl. She had a pretty good birthday first with dance class then picking out a Belle princess polly pocket gift set including the beast and horse and carriage for her birthday. She already knew what her present was, but she still wanted me to wrap it up and she did a pretty good acting job of being surprised when she openned it. She also got to have a play date with her cousins and when daddy got home we took her to play on the mall playground and paid for a few rides, then on the way home she got to get a stawberry shake. Pretty spoiled if I do say so myself. It is hard not to though at this age when they are so excited about birthdays. She has been asking about her birthday since halloween. She has had one family birthday party already and will have another one Sunday both of which are combined with her brother since there birthdays are only 11 days apart. Beck insisits that he is going to be 4 too and if you try to tell him otherwise he gets mad and starts crying. Kate had a Wall-E cake which she chose over pincesses. Daddy did a good job on the cake. I will post more party pictures later after the next party.





I can't believe I have a four year old. It really makes me want to try harder to be a better mom because kids remember so much more at this age. Happy Birthday Kate! We love you! We are lucky to have you as our daughter and you are a great big sister.

Valentine's Day!

We had a very busy Valentine's Day. We shopped most of the day trying to get a few things we needed for the baby and the basement. We picked out our paint for the basement since Home Depot was having their Behr paint rebate sale and then we got some bunk beds for Kate and Beck. Kate has been usuing a borrowed toddler bed from a neighbor and Beck is still in the crib and Number 3 which we are still trying to name will be here soon. We were hoping also pick up our new van, but it wasn't ready (it is not official yet, but we should be able to pick it up Tuesday). It is a 2005 Honda Odessey with 28,000 miles, leather interior, DVD player, automatic doors and we are so excited. Beck kept saying "I want this car!"

Eli made breakfast and dinner which was nice. He grilled steaks and shrimp on the BBQ while it was snowing. I guess he didn't mind the snow after snowblowing the drive way like 4x that weekend already. Then we watched the Charlie Brown Valentine special with the kids.

Here is a Valentine I created for Eli Thanks to a neighbor who pointed it out to me from the Family Fun Magazine. It is just a box of sweettarts made to look like an iPod. It is called the iLove and you personalize it with love songs that match the person to whom you are giving it. I haven't had much time for crafts, but I like the homemade valentine's. It was nice to find this one that was so easy.

Back Seat Drivers

I have been noticing lately how many comments my kids make in the car about my driving and it is easy to know why. I talk a lot when I am in the car and it is a bad habit I am realizing I need to eliminate. The good part is that I point out interesting things to my kids out the windows and they learn some new things about their world, the bad part is that I also get frustrated with other drivers and make comments about that too. I also tend to tell my husband how to drive and he usually responds that he has been driving just fine for years before he met me and was able to get from one place to another just fine without my help. I have to clarify for those who don't know my husband that he is extremely smart and thinks deeply about things and discusses these deep thoughts with me while he is driving, so sometimes he is on auto pilot and not really paying attention to where he is going. He frequently will pass our exit from the freeway or drive around a parking lot for 5 minutes passing several good spots to absent mindedly park in some random spot a mile away because he is so busy solving the problems of the universe. Usually I don't mind where he parks, but being in the third trimester of pregancy with back pain and trouble breathing plus winter snow and ice in parking lots I have become a lot more particular.
So maybe now you'll understand why sometimes I have to be a back seat driver and let him know "that was out exit you just passed" or "here is our turn" etc.

Kate is always asking what this sign means or what power sub stations are for and sometimes I have to just tell her to be quiet, so I can concentrate on driving. She can be quite distracting at times with her millions of questions. Then sometimes she is acting like her mom and becomes quite the back seat driver. For example, when I am turning right and the light is red, she is quick to point out that the light is red. She often thinks we are going the wrong way home and I have to reassure her that I do know where I am going and I do know how to drive. She is also helpful to point out that we don't use the word "dumb" or "idiot" when I slip up and say something I shouldn't to other drivers in front of my kids. Why is it that I think it is okay to talk to other drivers in such a way when I would never in a million years act like that in their presence. I am usually extremely polite in public, so it is quite out of my nature to be such a irritable impatient driver.

Beck hasn't been immune to picking up my bad habits like I wish he was. He has been quite the impersonator lately. I will hear him yell from the back seat "Go dude!" or "Come on cars". Hopefully I can change my ways before my bad habits rub off even more on my kids or my husband wants to drop me off on the side of the road:).

Spirtual Insights: Prayer and the Atonement

I have re-learned some things about the gospel lately that I thought would be important to share and record. The first was from a Relief Society lesson from the talk Pray Always by Elder David A. Bednar. He talks about how everything was spiritually created before the temporal creation and he says, "In a similar way, meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day-- and precedes the temporal creation or the actual execution of the day." when you put it in that perspective it really makes morning prayers seem so much more beneficial and important to make time for before we start our day. He also talks about how morning and evening prayers are linked. "At the end of our day, we kneel again and report back to our Father. We review the events of the day and express heartfelt thanks for the blessings and the help we received. We repent and, with the assistance of the spirit of the Lord, identify ways we can do and become better tomorrow. Thus our evening prayer builds upon and is a continuation of our morning prayer. And out evening prayer also is a preparation for meaningful morning prayer."
Elder Bednar also discusses the importance of gratitude and suggests we do more prayers with only expression of gratitude and ask for nothing. In addition he encourages us to pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart. "Just as expressing gratitude more often in our prayers enlarges the conduit for revelation, so praying for others with all the energy of our souls increases our capacity to hear and to heed the voice of the Lord." I guess I had never really thought of gratitude and praying for others as a way to recieve revelation instead of just doing it because you feel the need. It makes sense that when you stop worrying and praying for your own needs and think of your blessings and the needs of others that the spirit is better able to get through to you. Your mind set is different and more prepared to hear and not just tell or request.
I also have a strong testimony about the power of being united in prayer in behalf of a particular person or blessing. I remember right before I found out about my sisters complication with her twins a sister sharing a story about her daughter who had a later stage form of breast cancer (she was my age and one of my college friends which made it more personal). She said someone had told her to call several temples and have her name placed on the prayer roll. Amazingly she was able to overcome the cancer even at it's late stage. I think that sister was inspired to share that story for my benefit because it was only like a week later that I found out about my sister's twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome and I did as this sister had done and called a few temples to have her put her name on the prayer roll. There were miraculous blessings as a result and I have no doubt that all those faithful temple attendees praying on behalf of my sister as well as our own family prayers made a difference. I thought I knew about prayer, but Elder Bednar's talk helped me learn new things that will help me improve the quality of my prayers.
On a side note, I had the opportunity to listen to sister Julie Beck the Relief Society General President last night at our Stake enrichment, and I will have to do a seperate blog about that experience, but she also talked about when we pray for others we can get insights from our Heavenly Father who knows them and loves them that will help us connect and serve them better. Especially if we are trying to reach out to someone who seems unloveable or seems to reject all our attempts to reach them by placing obstacles or defenses between you and them.
One aspect of Elder Bednar's talk that was really touching was when he reminded us of the Savior's perfect example of praying for others with real intent. You can find it in John 17: 9, 20. 26 and in his visit to the Nephites in 3 Ne17:1-17 where is states, "No one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard Him pray for us unto the Father" and Elder Bednar asked us to, "imagine what it might have been like to hear the Savior of the world praying for us." I have also been pondering the atonement since our gospel docterine lesson a few weeks ago on the subject. I remember reading Doctrine and Covenants 19:16-19 that says the savior suffered in "both body and spirit". I think sometimes I visualize and think more of the suffering of his body that about the pain it caused him in spirit to feel all the disappointments, heart-ache, fears, and other emotional pains he also experienced "that his bowels may be filled with mercy. . . and that he may know . . . how to succor his people according to their infirmities" Alma 7:12. I guess I didn't realize infirmities included emotional infirmities and emotional pain that he also had to endure. I knew this on a basic level, but these insights helped me appreciate the atonement so much more. It is very rare that we have to go through emotional turmoil at the same time as physical ailments and then to compound that to all those who believe in Christ. No human could endure that depth of suffering only the son of God! I am so grateful that in him I can find relief from emotional suffering whether it is from mistakes, shortcomings or sins or from other disappointments and emotional pains. I am so grateful that he was so willing to suffer, so that I would not have to suffer if I repent.

January Life Lessons

Lately I have been getting spring fever with all the sunshine we have been having. I love this atypical January accept for the fact with the bad air and sick kids I haven't really been able to get out like I have wanted. Even with how much I love the sunshine seeing all the haze makes me wish it would snow again. I did get my Christmas wishes and we had nice snow for Christmas and my kids waited until now to get sick. They both got a terrible cold, but Kate faired much better. Beck had quite the croupie cough and I was worried we were going to have to take him in for breathing treatments.
Sunday Beck had some drainage coming out his ear. Great! He had a burst ear drum last year, so I was pretty confident that was the source. He has been complaining about his head hurting and his throat hurting, but not his ears. Now that I think about it, the headache was probably really an ear ache. Even though Beck is pretty articulate for his age, it is still difficult to figure out what he wants. Here is exhibit A: Previously he had been crying to go inside, but when I tried to take him inside he cried to play in the snow. Eventually he decides he wants a snack.

I took him to the Dr. today and he couldn't even see past all the gunk to know the condition of the ear drum and the other ear drum is infected as well. The kid has snot not just the usual brownish liquid coming out his ears. Why can't he just have the usual runny nose like the normal kids? He is related to me that is why. I think Beck's pediatrician thinks I am an idiot or a neglectful parent, but he just doesn't know my history (tubes, tubes again, tubes again, surgeery to remove scar tissue and rebuild my ear drum etc.) Hopefully we can get back to sleeping again now that he is on antibiotics. I am so grateful for antibiotics! I should also add to the list humidifiers, decongestants, pain relieving and fever reducing medications, good pediatricians and several close pharmacies, as well as knowing if I absolutely had to I could take him to the ER and they could help him breath if he couldn't on his own.
We did find out on the 8th that all his food allergies are still going strong and we even ended up getting an epi-pen for the nut allergies (there is yet another blessing for which to be thankful). I really hate feeling so helpless as a parent to see him be so miserable with being sick and also not being able to enjoy all the foods everyone else enjoys. I feel so bad when he says "I want that" and I have to tell him "No you are allergic and it will make you sick" and then he cries and says again "I want that". I wish so much I could instantly take away all his allergies and instantly cure his ear infections and instantly ease his breathing. I am sure that is how Heavenly Father feels when he sees his children suffering and especially when Christ went through the atonement only intensified so greatly that I truly can't even comprehend it.
I feel like my last couple of blogs have been kind of downers or a bit negative, but that isn't really how I feel. It seems like when things are difficult I see all that I have to be grateful for and how blessed I really am. Yes, I am tired and I am getting a little burnt out and stir crazy with sick kids, but that is not really that big a deal compared to what I have learned or more accurately put what I have been reminded of as a result of these experiences. It is definitely through adversity and opposition that I learn how good life really is and more about the love of our Heavenly Father and Jesus christ. I don't think I would understand that as much as I do without being a parent. Wow! I am sure I have so much more to learn since I am still so new to parenting.

Frazzled

It seems like with small children every little errand, trip to the grocery store, or even just trying to sit through church becomes an overwhelming ordeal. Then add the fatigue and lack of concentration that go with pregnancy and it seems like torture. Sometimes it takes like 3-5 hours to just do the grocery shopping.

The other day I got one of those carts that looks like a car and has two seats for kids to sit and pretend to drive. I thought it would be a good idea until they both started fighting over who got which seat and then neither of them wanted to sit they decided they wanted to run around the store instead. Beck was grabbing bags of marshmellows off the shelf and trying to bite through the bag to eat them then he was walking down the isle trying to punch the bread. I hate feeling like one of those parents with the uncontrollable kids everyone dreads being around. Everytime I leave the grocery store I promise myself I am not going to bring them anymore! Luckily, when I was shopping at the Target clearance sale, I had some candy which helped keep the kids occupied and it seemed like I was surrounded by other mothers who were experiencing their turn dealing with the screaming kids.

This past week I tried to go to costco and we ate lunch first and then loaded up our cart and as we were just about finished with our shopping they made everyone evacuate the building and leave their carts. I don't know what was going on, there was a alarm that went off while we were eating, but it went off quickly and there were no emergency vehicles as we were leaving the building. What a hassle! Just to even get out the door is enough trouble and then load, unload, take a bathroom break, eat, take another bathroom break, shop, and then to just have to leave everything and start back at zero because of a fire or chemical leak. I was down to like four diapers too. Well, off to another store and as we are checking out I lean over to help Kate with her coat and as many of you know being 6 months plus pregnant any movement can cause you to pass gas which is what happened. Then Kate (who does not have a quiet voice) says "eww mom you farted" for all to hear. It was pretty embarassing.

I was embarassed again at church. We changed to a new schedule and Beck is having a difficult time. We use to have sacrament first which was much easier with kids at 9:30 than now when it is reversed and he has to go to sacrament after nursery at 11:00 when he is starting to get tired and hungry. He will start yelling "I wanna go bye bye" or "candy" or "pizza" and has yelled even more embarassing things that I don't feel I should meniton here. Hopefully it will get better as he gets use to the new schedule.

Well, if anyone has developed some fool proof methods or tricks to make all this easier I am open to any suggestions. How am I ever going to do this with three!!! I think I will have to go at 5 am or 10 pm.