Thoughts on Conference

I was really looking forward to conference this weekend as I usually am and I was wondering how strange it might be to not have President Hinckley there conducting and speaking. I really enjoyed the spirit that I felt during the solemn assembely and the special attention to detail and order in the way they conducted the sustainings. I was also very touched by the countenance of our new prophet President Thomas S. Monson. As I looked at him, I could tell he was feeling the weight of his calling or the burden of the mantel of the leadership of the church. I could see he was not his jovial light-hearted self and that he was full of emotion of the proceedings of the solemn assembly.

Unfortunately, with my small children needing my attention most of the rest of the time, I really didn't get much out of the Saturday sessions. It seems like I don't ever get a break or personal time. I can't even go to the bathroom or take a shower without interruption from my 3yr old or 1yr old.

As we were trying to listen to the Saturday afternoon session in the car, the speaker was talking about the Holy Ghost and Kate said something really funny. Unfortunately, I don't remember all of what she said but part of it was "the Holy Ghost won't eat me".

I was pretty disappointed about not getting what I needed out of conference, but still looking forward to the Sunday sessions for the opportunity to hear the one thing that seemed to be directed to me or the one thing that I really needed to hear.

I hate to admit it, but there was contention in our house late Saturday afternoon and I was feeling awful that evening. It was one of those self-pitty parties where you're feeling fat, ugly, stupid, inadequate and a failure as a wife and mother. Now I desperately needed a spiritual pick me up from conference even more than ever.

Sunday moring I tried hard to get my kids ready (fed and dressed) before conference started as well as myself. I was a little frustrated that I was having to multi-task during conference, but I also wanted to go visit my brand new niece Isla Ann (pictures soon to come) and my sister Kristy at the hospital inbetween the conference sessions. Then Beck became really fussy and needed me to put him down for a nap. Again, I was disappointed since I only got to hear little bits and pieces of the morning session, but still hopefull that I had one more chance.

Kate fell asleep on our way home from the hospital, and I was getting my hopes up that I would finally be able to watch conference in peace and quiet with two babies fast asleep. Beck had other plans and cried and fussed for over an hour before finally falling asleep just in time for me to listen to Elder M. Russell Ballard and president Monson concluding comments.

It was finally what I had been hoping for and started to doubt I could receive. I needed to hear that instead of being in a hurry to get the next thing done that I should focus on living in the moments. I also needed to hear permission and encouragement from church leaders to find time for myself to cultivate interests and enrich my life. I needed to be encouraged to pay more attention to prayer, study of the gospel, and teaching the gospel to my children. I definitely feel like I need the encouragement, help and appreciation of my husband. I really liked the advice he gave to husbands about asking your wife what each child needs and how they can help and the giving your wife a day away comment:). I don't see how women do it with out a husband to support them in their role as mothers. I know I couldn't do it with out Eli.

I loved President Monson's talk as well about his wife and how supportive she is. I have nothing to complain about when Eli needs to travel for work for two weeks at a time considering how much the general authorities have to be away from their wives (sometimes up to five weeks at a time or like our president Monson's relative who left on a mission two weeks after their marriage).

Lastly, I was very moved by President Monson's plea to pray for him as he prays for us. I was impressed by his humility and his expression of love through his prayers on our behalf as members of the church. I look forward to reading the words of all those who spoke in conference that I did not have the chance to hear this weekend.