Celebrating the 4th of July

I have mixed feelings about the 4th of July this year. I am usually super patriotic and I start celebrating memorial day and I don't stop until the July is over. This year it seems I have been too busy or maybe just distracted to really get into the true sentiment of the holiday. I usually read some favorite patriotic quotes, stories, etc. to sensitize my spirit or reawaken my loyalty, gratitude and love of the country and the blessings God has bestowed upon us. I usually feel that I have the opportunity to remember those devoted ancesters, pioneers, and veterans who came before and sacrificed so much for all that we enjoy today. This year I feel sort of numb and distant from those usual patriotic and spiritual feelings.

I think part of the problem is physical as well as emotional or spiritual. The week before the 4th of July Kate got pretty sick. I took me a few hours to catch on because she is such an easy going little girl. she didn't complain much eventhough her throat looked like it was almost swollen shut and was covered with white pus. Once I looked into her mouth after my prodding her if she hurt anywhere because she was acting unusually tired and kind of out of it she finally admitted her neck hurt. I thought for sure it would be strep with her throat the way it looked plus a fever of 103, but it was negative. The next day she was fine like nothing had ever happended. However the rest of us got sick just in time for the 4th of July. Not only was I sick, but I was also very hormonal. I managed okay with the cold, but Eli was really sick and didn't join me to hang out with family on the 3rd when we let the cousins play with the slip-n-slide together and then had dinner at a park nearby and then watched the West Point fireworks from my in-laws drive way. I was pretty tired from fighting off a cold, and trying to get the kids to eat and chasing Beck at the park was frustrating, but I knew the kids were enjoying it so that makes it worth it. However, the hormones made it difficult not to want to feel sorry for myself or take everything out on my husband. Being hormonal made me want to punish him for being sick at the same time as me instead of being compassionate and understanding. Don't you love those irrational thoughts and behaviors. "how dare you be sick at the same time as me" or "How dare you sleep when you are sick". In situations like these, I am always hoping that people realize we were not our usual selves and we are not always that ornery with each other.

On the fourth we went back to West Point for the parade we were late because they started earlier this year, but it was fun to watch Beck as he enjoyed his first parade (last year he was too small to really know what was going on). I was glad it was a little over cast to keep it a bit cooler. Then in the afternoon Aunt Emma watched the kids while we helped Dani and Tom (Eli's sister) move a few final items from their house. We had a BBQ at Eli's parents house then Aunt Emma bought some kiddie pools for all the kids. Emma was sick too, so she was a great sport to come help out so much with the kids. This was the hardest part for me because the exhaustion of being sick and still doing so much set in and I turned into a lazy oaf. I just dozed off in the camp chair for a while while Kate played in the kiddie pool and Daddy was napping with Beck inside. I didn't even have energy to get out of the chair to join in the water balloon fight with the nieces and nephews. All I had energy to do was tie balloons once they were filled (I stilll got plenty wet when a few of them burst in my lap). Kate loved the water balloons and she got quite attached to her balloon. I had to babysit it for half the afternoon.

Emma was letting the kids feed her dog some treats. Beck was very interested so she gave him one and the dog took it from him. Beck was very upset that the dog stole HIS snack. It was pretty funny.

We went out for chinese food for dinner then we decided we were all too exhausted to wait until dark to light fireworks. Dani and Tom needed to leave for Denver at like 6am and Jed had to work early as well. We decided to call it a night and then we had to say our final goodbyes to Dani and Tom. That was hard! We will really miss them.

Eli and I went home and put the kids to bed and watched Juno. I don't know if that was such a good idea in my condition. I cried again! Saturday we spent the whole day cleaning which needed to be done with all the neglect from being sick and gone with family celebrating. I don't know if it was the hormones, being sick, saying goodbye to Dani and Tom, all the crap I ate or the lack of the usual patriotism that left me feeling kind of empty after the holiday? I guess there is still more of July and pioneer day to try to get some of the meaning back into the month of July.

Here are a few words to a patriotic song I like that usually express my feelings during the month of July ". . . I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free and I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me. I'll gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today. 'cause there aint no doubt I love this land. God Bless the U.S.A. In addition, here is a simple yet profound scripture about liberty ". . . where the spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty" 2 chorinthians 3:17. I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July celebration. I am grateful for the beauty of this nation, the freedoms we have, and especially for our forebears who sacrificed so much for these priveledges and blessings we enjoy today.